It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
