Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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