you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
