She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
