IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
