I love black thongs
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
