i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
