This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
