so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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