I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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