She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
