your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
