drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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