sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
