I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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