Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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