Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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