i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
