Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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