plz talk dirty to me
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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