so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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