stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
