he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
