She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
