It was confusing and full of hummus
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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