last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
