Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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