Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
