so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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