mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
