She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
