the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize