it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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