let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
