I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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