Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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