he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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