Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
