More tranny stories later!
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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