big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
