I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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