Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
