Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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