Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
