Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
