Me. At least after what I've been through.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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