Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
