i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
