i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
are you so shy because you have an std?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Everything about him screamed your future.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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