Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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