Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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