I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
