Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
