i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize